OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Randomize
