**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
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