Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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