doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Randomize
