drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Randomize
