just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
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