You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
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