I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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