halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
I enjoy the company of your penis
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