you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
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