It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Randomize
