my vag is so smooth its legendary
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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