it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
