This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Randomize
