JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
