the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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