I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
