I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
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