I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
tell your sister to shave her snatch
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Randomize
