hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
