I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Randomize