She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Randomize
