Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
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