I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
