I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
