i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Randomize