So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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