They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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