There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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