Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
