We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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