Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
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