K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Randomize
