Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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