But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Randomize
