ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
