Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Randomize