i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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