If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Randomize