hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
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