remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
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