Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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