My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize