By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
I feel great
I just peed on a car
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
