He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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