I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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