maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Randomize
