Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
