She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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