Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
