im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
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