I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
