Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
Randomize
