I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
