thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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