I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
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