Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Randomize
