I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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