Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
