Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
