dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
