every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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