i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Randomize
