i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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