Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
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