"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
